jueves, 4 de septiembre de 2014

REVIEW: Maybe Someday - Colleen Hoover


A love story that involves music, composition, guitar, and the issue of communication through voice and ear... Well there's just too many beautiful elements combined in just one story. But when you put there beautiful-ness too and heartache, it's just perfection. Or at least it was tome. Not to mention that this books has a really great playlist that you can find here: Maybe Someday Soundtrack. I think that was pretty awesome, to actually being able to put music to the lyrics shown in the book, and experience the fiction of the story not only through written words but also through actual music that's a plus I wasn't counting on and I absolutely loved. I've have this book for months now, as an ebook as always, and I don't know why I never picked it up, even though I really wanted to read it.
I know why now. Because it was too close to heart. Ok, so I haven't fallen for a talented deaf musician genius, with a loyal and beautiful heart who had a girlfriend. But I did fall for a friend with a girlfriend from another country, he never promised anything and we did everything we could to not let anything more to developed between us, I just wasn't strong enough, he wasn't strong enough, since this is not personal book all I can say here is that we ended hurting more than we should, and I let it happen, and in the end, the guilt, the blame, the loss of self-respect, probably wasn't worth it in terms of getting back, of reciprocation, 'cause I did gave everything of me, and I mean EVERYTHING.
When he finally broke up with her, it wasn't for choosing me, it was because she was leaving for good. So when we tried, it didn't worked, I couldn't deal with the doubt, the guilt, the insecurity that I was the second choice, 'cause unlike Sydney, our leading female on the book, I was the second choice and the guy never reassured me of any different, because it wasn't any different from where my thoughts were. I can't even put into words all the pain I went through for all the choices made, and there's no number for all the tears shed. And in the end, that pain changed part of me, that today I really miss, it made me insecure, self conscious and depressive. That was less than 4 years ago, I still see him sometimes, in fact I saw him yesterday, just a few hours before starting the book. I still can't say no to him. There's still some part of me that believes if he comes back for me for good I would take him. I hate myself for that, for how weak he makes me feel, but specially because I'm the one who lets him.

Wow...  wasn't planning on putting all this here, but while reading, I couldn't help but thinking how I wish this is how my own story would have ended, but instead my heart broke and I was the only one to blame. Reading this was painful for me, but it was such a beautiful story. I just wish mine would have even just a little bit alike... Well reality is never like you want and we can't always get what we want. But then again, that's the most amazing thing about books. :)

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